Nothing but the truth. Funny Court Transcripts. Case in point, one Instagram account being run by a foreigner has been sharing some questionable fashion choices (most of which are statement shirts) worn by people from all walks of life in China. 2) Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning? Everyone could use a good laugh (and scientists say laughing makes you happier) so here you go . We recommend our users to update the browser. Charles M. Sevilla has compiled some of the funniest exchanges from justice halls between defendants and plaintiffs, lawyers and witnesses, juries and judges, and released a book of court records called Disorder in the Court. Prosecutor: Objection; irrelevant. • The defendant said that prior to the offense, he’d hoped to become a physician. The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide. Despite the seriousness, courtroom drama and everything that happens in it, this place also produces hilarious (unintentional) comedy. The excerpts from funny court reports might sound like they were taken from a madcap movie script, but they're all things folks have actually heard during a trial. You get the chance to explore new places, try exotic food, know about different customs and traditions, and a whole lot more. The image was posted on Reddit with a simple description. However, there are incidents inside the courtroom that are unexpectedly funny. There’s nothing funny about being in a courtroom. Court: That’s a novel thought. This took me one minute to read, and I laughed out loud 3 times. Here are 50 of the most hilarious things that court reporters have ever recorded to be said in court. • Counsel (to man in hallway): Are you a witness, victim, or defendant? . Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Email If you’ve been caught rereading your court transcripts, perhaps you’ve been the butt of a joke or two about your vanity. The language barrier can easily be tackled through a translator. Witness: He looks pretty sharp. They're often lazy, sometimes chubby, and usually adorable yet annoying. Some hilarious transcripts from American courts (shamelessly stolen off of FB) These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of … Some hilarious transcripts from American courts (shamelessly stolen off of FB) These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of … No matter how intelligent or well educated you are you’ve probably had a few moments where […] A lot of really bizarre, awful things happened to Nick, but he kind of describes it all nonchalantly, which is really funny. These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. "man's best friend"), it's safe to say they've undoubtedly made it into everyone's hearts. He Clearly HATES It! • Attorney: What did the doctor tell you was the condition of the body when he performed the autopsy? Witness: Yes. Man: I’m the guy who did it. However, the horrendous formatting overshadowed the book's merits. Cats are indeed impossible to resist and they even become a source of inspiration for many artists. • Prosecutor: How fast was the car coming toward you? (Many years ago, before cell phones and even before personal computers are common, I receive a court summons. In some instances, you get to notice certain things you might found strangely amusing. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Kangaroo Court In the Georgia transcript there was an exchange between the court and the defendant that displayed the judge’s quick wit: It just so happens, there was a similar exchange in a courtroom in Australia a few years ago. — • Prosecutor: Do you see the defendant in court today? But he believes that with a felony conviction, he will be precluded from achieving that goal. The internet is filled with witty and helpful people! Witness: I am not a thermometer, so I can’t tell you the speed limit. Although the nurse didn't speak any English, they decided to give the hospitalized student a note to explain an upcoming procedure. Whether you’re in the jury, on the witness stand, or on trial yourself, it’s certainly a tense and nail-biting environment. Although our furry feline friends have not reached a status as that of a dog (a.k.a. If a law student is drinking while studying for the exam, he would do well to bring beer into the examination, because he’ll be better able to re-create whatever it is he studied if he’s in a similar state of intoxication. I’m married to her. Nishant Choksi for Reader’s Digest • Prosecutor: How fast was the car coming toward you? Traveling to new countries can be exciting although most of us can get lost in translation. Case in point, the Photoshopped images below show us what it's like if cats were actually giants! The locals may be used to it - or may not have any idea what it is - but with your fresh (and informed) eyes, it's really impossible to miss them. And they're hysterically funny! The book does include some funny bits. 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